This is a work of pure fiction and has originated purely from the rotten mind of the author. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The use of the first person 'I' in the story is to only make the viewer see through the eyes of the characters, and does not imply to the author himself.
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.....It was all pre-planned. It was very lucidly explained to me that if I happen to fail again, the LTTE won't think twice before embedding those finely carved bullets into my agile, dark and tall body. But this time, I had an intuition that I would succeed. I could feel it, and there was no questioning my subconscious…..
I glanced up at the menu, stuck up neatly at the wall. The amylase had already occupied a centre position in my mouth. I searched for the most expensive dish on the list, for I had decided to treat myself today. After all, it’s not everyday you become an NTSE Scholar.
After countless times of going through the meal-studded list, I finally gave up to the noisy grumblings of my stomach.
It wasn’t an easy task, standing in front of the payment counter, when in front of you go innumerable scrumptious snacks cooked with the finest of vegetables and topped with the finest of spices. Finally, I settled upon a double cheese big boy mutton burger, with extra olives, extra mayonnaise and extraaaa mutton. Ah! I’d rather die than live a life without mutton!
I placed a crisp thousand rupee note at the billing counter. The cashier beamed. This must have been the most expensive single order of the day. He smiled politely, requesting me to wait for my meal to get ready.
…..I kept reciting the steps in my mind. I just had to go inside the restaurant toilet, take out the bomb, place it inside the commode, set the timer and then get out of the place ASAP. Just place the bomb inside the commode, and get out of the hellish place. That’s it. I don’t know why I was reciting it over and over again, when I knew it wouldn’t ease my tension.
I got inside the toilet. Nobody was there. I checked all the doors. Not a soul. God was with me. He was with me in this jihad. I thought about my future, I being awarded a pistol by Prabhakaran. I reeled my thoughts to the present, for I didn’t have much time. Those stout, plump civilians could anytime come marching inside the toilet to produce what they had just consumed. I took out the unblemished bomb, a type 1 IED, enough for blowing out the whole restaurant. I set the timer to 5 minutes. I peeped inside the commode. Yuck! Filled with human poop! I flushed it all, and started the timer. These will be the last five minutes of every goddamn soul(excluding me, of course!) in this 1000 sq ft. area, I thought. I came out of the ‘mouth of death’, basking in the glory of my accomplishment.
Inside the commode, the clock ticked away...
4:54……….
4:53.........
4:52........
4:51........
“To hell with you, god damnit! Where’s my freakin’ order?”, I yelled at the cashier. It had been more that 15 minutes since I ordered my personalized big boy burger. He scrambled under my patronizing glare, a bit alarmed by my sudden burst of outrage.
2:45 ……………
I got my burger the very next minute. Sometimes you have to show your vicious streak in order to get the job done.
1:06………………
I ripped it apart impetuously, like a famished dog who’s just been given the most wonderful dog food in the world. A couple of eyes turned towards me, giving me the ‘don’t-you-have-any-manners’ look. I didn’t really care, I preferred leaving my table manners at home.
0:35……………..
And I put nearly 5 kinds of dressings on the burger, and now finally, It was ready to be churned, slashed, mixed and grinded by my body.
0:05……………..
And I bought it closer,
0:03…………….
And closer,
0:02…………..
And, it finally touched my teeth……
0:01…………..
I heard a huge explosion, and I was blown forward by the reaction. A thousand pins stabbed my body from everywhere. Blood sprouted out from every corner of my body. I sensed pain, excruciating pain, one which I had never sensed before. I lay on the ground, my burger still in my 1-fingered hand, still confused as to what had happened. I saw a flash of light, followed by nothing but total numbness.
….I sat in front of the restaurant, at a distance where not even the tiniest of shrapnel could reach me. I looked at the restaurant getting engulfed by a cloud of dust, till the time it was nothing more than a heap of cement, dust, and I don’t know how many gallons of blood. I smiled, a smile that was as ghastly as it could be. I picked up my phone, punched in the number, and said with a proud but demonic voice, “Mission Accomplished”.
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For those of you who’ve come this far and haven’t understood a thing, please go back to the beginning and start again.
Read it 10 times, and if your grey matter is still not able to process it, just leave a comment regarding the problem, and I’ll explain it to you. (Though I guess most of you will not feel the need to do that.)
I thought of mentioning the difference between italics and normal text (that’s a hint!), but that’ll spoil the gripping factor of the story.
And all of you who liked the story (okay...even the ones who didn't like it), you better leave a comment, for first posts need encouragement, and criticism!
Your Next Door Blogger,
Dhruv Gupta
(Photo credit - sabotazusa)
